Tune in and go with the flow….
Who needs drugs? The highs and lows of the menstrual cycle
You get 2 ex addicts together and the conversation will inevitably go back to those years of excess- but get 2 ex addicts who consciously work with their cycles and you get a whole new conversation going….
We are also 2 highly sensitive women who in the past used drugs and alcohol to numb out from the world and our emotions, but with a combination of over 30 years sobriety and over 30 years of conscious charting we have learned to ride the highs and lows of our cycles and use them to guide us through life.
We both also happen to be “Via Negativa” women so our reflections here come from a place of being more comfortable in the autumn and winter phases of our cycles….for those of you who love your spring and summer, you may have a different sense to all of this than us!
So for both of us, our inner spring can be a tricky time. For me (Rachael) it’s my ‘come down’ time from the bliss of my bleed and being in my Moon Temple. I’m gentle and tender with myself at this point, upping my self care practices as I tentatively recover from the ‘spiritual hangover’ and allow my energy to gently rise into my ovulation, inner summer time.
Then bang…surges of energy and love! The highs of summer, likened to our days of cocaine and speed taking, we can keep going and going, feeling invincible but keeping an awareness that if we keep going for too long, riding the wave of the hormones then the crash will come.
And there it is, the come down in to inner autumn, now for many this is a tricky time, but I just love it. I consciously slow down, spending more time in nature, just sitting, connecting to the earth….I would perhaps liken this phase to my “stoner days” when life was almost in slow motion and I need the world to slow down too!
Then…I sink into the void…I used to really struggle with the ‘nothingness’ of the void- this was the point in my cycle where I would act out self sabotage- binging on drugs, alcohol, food, shopping….this point is a big red light when relapses tend to happen for women in recovery. But now I can enjoy the stillness of the void, finding my groove in the ‘comfortably numb’ place….similar to the effect of opiates…allowing it to take you over as you slip in to the bliss of your bleed. At this point I am raw and wide open, acutely sensitive so need to really protect myself! As a body therapist I used to LOVE giving treatments during my moon time, I could literally merge with my clients and work much deeper with them than at any other time in my cycle, but boy did I come home drained and feeling energetically “icky”. Then I had to work super hard to cleanse myself and come back to Me.
These days I know I need time alone at this point, if I can let go of the outside world and the day to day tasks, I can drop into an altered state, not dissimilar to the experiences I’ve had on hallucinogens, and even drugs like ecstasy. I am open to receive clear guidance from the earth, spirit animals and guides and fall into a state of bliss for a few days!
And so we’ve cycled around our inner seasons without the use of mind and body altering substances….we’ve had the highs of amphetamines, the slowed down states of cannabis and opiates, moved into the loved up bliss and visions of hallucinogens and ecstasy! Our holy hormones take us on an amazing ride if we choose to take the time to tune in and go with the flow.
I can remember a time, camping with friends in my late teens, sitting watching the sun set- whilst high on magic mushrooms and having a conversation about how we knew- we just knew- that our bodies had the ability to reach these altered states without the use of drugs…and I know one of those friends became a meditator and teacher of mindfulness and meditation, and one of them is still locked in the addiction of drugs…and me…well I’m just using the power of my cycle!