We are missing the Grandmothers

Rachael Crow Blog

During a women’s circle today, some of us perimenopausal women were saying how much we need elder women to guide us and offer their wisdom.

We are struggling to find our wise elders in our communities. We are struggling to “do it all”- work, raise the kids, do the housework…men are struggling just as much as women. We are all doing too much just to survive.

On refection I was musing that we disconnected ourselves from our elders when we left the tribal tradition, or even the farming community where we would have had more support, more togetherness, celebrating the seasons, festivals, helping one another with our daily tasks. Grandparents would have cared for the little ones while parents worked the land, or foraged food, or perhaps everyone worked together more, there was less separation- children had their roles in the community as well as adults.

Tribal communities that still run like this maybe poor, but they are rich in time, they have time for one another, time to discuss what the community needs, time to have celebrations, rites of passage, honouring of the seasons.

Something happened in our society, maybe it was when we started to put wealth before happiness, education became important, we left home to study or work, and how many of us returned? And as our grandparents began to get frail, they were put in homes, none were brought into the family home with love.

No one has time to care for anyone any more.

And the system is breaking, breaking down, breaking out, breaking apart. Here we all sit, in our boxes, behind our screens, all separate, all lonely, longing for community, and yet when we try community, competitiveness, jealousy, ego all gets in the way.

Yes, even in the communities of womens circles, our wounds are triggered and bitching, competitiveness, back biting can arise.
This is where we need the elders, the post menopausal women who don’t engage in that crap anymore, who can see the wounds, call us out on them, guide us into healing, or maybe just hold our babies while we cry and heal?

We miss our grandmothers, we are missing their wisdom, in our lives, in our homes, in the world.

(C) Rachael Crow 2019
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